In tragic event, high school senior mourns the loss of her parking spot

Students arrive at their school parking lot before starting their day.

Lindsey Landrum, Humor Editor

War, hunger, poverty. What do all three of these awful things have in common? Well, their collective trait is that they all pale in comparison to the worst possible scenario: losing your parking spot to an under-classman.

Abigail Clark, a senior at Generic County High School (GCHS), has recently suffered this exact devastating event.

“I just didn’t know what to do. I pulled into the parking lot at the same time I always do, and there she was. Mary Evans, that conniving little sophomore, was right there in my parking spot.”

Clark, according to several bystanders who were heading into the school building that morning, was in complete shock.

Jordan Martin, a junior at GCHS, commented, “It was terrible. All I could do was watch as Abigail parked in the spot next to her stolen one, got out of her car, and dropped to her knees. She was sobbing uncontrollably and it truly broke my heart.”

Clark said, “I even got a few confused looks by the staff members monitoring the parking lot. Like, couldn’t they see how devastating this was? I had been parking in that spot for a whole four months, and this bratty little sophomore just swooped in and decided she had the right to park in a spot that was by no means assigned to any one student.”

Evans, the sophomore in question, was reported to be standing wide-eyed at the scene of the crime, staring at Clark as she grieved her exponential loss.

Evans later commented, “I had no idea that Abigail had been parking there. It was my first time driving to school, and I was a little unsure. I didn’t know she would get quite that upset.”

Clark was reportedly allowed to spend the day in her assigned student counselor’s office, as she was clearly too mentally and emotionally damaged to apply herself to her studies that day.

“I was glad they let her stay in Mrs. Wilson’s office,” said Evans. “She was obviously traumatized. I had no idea how much my choice to park in a parking spot that was available for public use could affect someone else’s mental health.”

Clark, after composing herself later that day, said, “I mean, come one. I’ve had that parking spot for months. Mary, even though she had never driven herself to school, should have known exactly where every student usually parked. There are no excuses.”

Following this statement, Clark broke down again and was checked out of school by her mother.

This should be a lesson for students across the nation. We can all be a part of the solution if we ensure that everyone knows every detail of the lives of the entire student body. That way, your business is everybody’s business, and that’s the way it should be.