With the holidays rapidly approaching, large family gatherings are seemingly inevitable for many.

Having family members who seldom see each other all together often promotes discussion of future plans. Particularly, plans regarding future career paths and growing families.

While the opinion is beginning to fade, many still have a bizarre belief regarding women: their only purpose is to have children.

We’ve all seen it: a couple gets married, and one of the first questions asked is “When are the babies coming?” or “When are you giving me grandkids?”

While both questions can be strange, there is definitely a glaringly obvious difference between the two.

The first assumes the couple will be having kids of course, but the second one adds another layer. The second one pushes past assuming there will be children, going straight to the idea that the couple owes their family something.

Women are often raised being taught that they owe the world children. They are taught that the men are to go out and make a name for themselves, and the women must stay home and raise a family.

There is nothing wrong with a family that chooses to do that. It is a viable option. However, the problem is when it is presented as the only option.

Women already have enough terrifying realities to face. From drink and needle spiking, to catcalling, to many other forms of sexual assault and harrassment, women have plenty to fear.

Then, they come home to their family demanding they have children.

This is not to diminish the great progress that has been made in obtaining equal rights regardless of gender. This is not to say that the United States is not one of the best places for a woman to be.

However, being the best does not mean there is no room for progress. More work can still be done.

In this day and age, more and more women are being taught that they can do anything they set their mind to. However, these ideas are often plagued with the subtle nudge that they should have children at the top of their list.

The decision on children is hard enough to make on its own. Children take a lot out of a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some women are not ready for that, or simply do not want that. And that is okay.

Add on the societal pressure placed on women to have kids, and it’s easy to see why women are so tired of being questioned about children.

The idea that women need to have kids just reinforces the belief that women are only valuable for their female anatomy, which can diminish a girl’s self worth. 

At this point, it seems as if womens’ bodies are sexualized to the point that they are a make or break factor in many aspects of their lives. Forcing the idea of children onto a woman just further pushes the idea that there is a “correct” way to be a woman.

This “correct” standard is so specific, that it is practically unattainable, which can destroy a woman’s confidence. 

Girls around the globe have big dreams for their futures. However, the idea that children need to be one of those dreams can bring more harm than good.

So, what can you do to help?

You could stop asking women when they are going to “pop out some kids” the second a ring gets put on their finger. Or, maybe, you could stop asking at all.